DISboards are DISNEYrific!

Great people and fun discussions. Wonderful outlet for me, who can obsess about details. I love chatting with others who do the same :)
Also learning quite a bit about the computer and posting/HTML stuff. Hoping some rubs off on this blog :)

Gawd help me! I drank the Disney kool-aid

I've found a great escape from our house-selling woes: planning (and planning and planning and obsessively planning) our fall trip to

Disney World!

I'm amazed at all the message boards, tour planning services, questions/answers. And I can no longer say that I'm "studying" this DisCulture from a distance - I'm completely a part of it. I used to be able to get away with pointing out the crazy-planning/prep work of others to my DH "Look, honey! Can you believe she is doing this?!" and say "wow, now I remember why I loved my Sociology minor in college so much!". He has since kindly pointed out to me, while hysterically laughing, that I'M joining in, wholeheartedly, in the same wacky things now.

I can safely say that I will not be one to create daily Disney tee shirts for every member of our travelling party. Or finish some fabulous scrapbook after our trip. Or even get a Disney bumper sticker for our car. I'm still a somewhat-closeted DisFreak, and I'm not organized enough for tees or scrapbooks!

So I'm saying all this to say that I'm going to start a Pre-Trip Plan post on disboards (the forum on www.wdwinfo.com) under my screen name seamama71. I may copy some posts here too. I just figure that since I'm on the computer nightly for a couple hours, browsing other people's posts, I may as well join in. It's one way to hone my writing skills...

Funny, I feel like this blog can be my "dark side" (since I've done so much griping and whining!) and the DISboard will need to be bright and shiny and superduper happy *smile*!

This is all part of learning who we are, right? Taking our dark side with our light. Admitting that I am a "joiner" - and like it - even as I roll my eyes at myself and make an excuse that downplays why I joined. I did this with sorority life too, and still tell people how my sorority was "different" from others and that's why I could tolerate it. So silly and judgemental! There's more of my dark side - *duh duh duuuuuuhm*. I suppose if that's all I've got for my dark side... well, it could be worse. And since I judge other people who are silly and judgemental, I know I'm not alone :)

I'm thinking about shaving the dogs

Since the house is pared down to the bare minimum, and the ceilings are vacuumed (Thank God! How could I have lived in a house with such dusty ceilings!), I've found some strange sort-of serenity.  Oh, the anxiety remains, don't get me wrong, but it has been tempered somewhat by these un-cluttered, "straight-from-Pottery Barn and Ikea" surroundings.

I've reached the stage of house-selling where we have a "system" in place for keeping every nook and cranny clean.  Doing laundry often and having fewer clothes around; less clutter means less dust and more open space to vacuum quickly.

My favorite new habit, though, is following behind every male in the household - and I mean every male, thankyouverymuch - and wiping pee droplets off the commodes. Under the seat, under the lid, on top of the lid (?!), on the floor.  

And I'm actually thankful when it's just around the toilets; this is soooo the best time for our 2-yr old to become interested in potty-training and "naked running!" (this can only be said out loud if you actually yell it enthusiastically).  Yesterday naked running (!) led to naked peeing on the basement carpet.  Really?!  I thought I only had to worry about that with the damn dogs.  

BUT we have, in fact, come up with a decent system for the (damn) dogs [I really do curse them in my head just about every time I think/speak/write about them].  

Our genius system for our 2 gi-normous barking, smelly, peeing dogs includes a 10 ft by 10 ft chainlink pen in our garage. It's 6 ft high. It looks like we have wrestling cage matches out there on weekend nights.  I can see it now: swarthy, rough guys taking bets in the corner of the smoke-filled garage, watching ... I don't know... drunk rednecks? biker chicks? circling each other in the cage, hunched over as they size up the competition.

In any case, it looks utterly ridiculous, but it seems to be doing the trick. And it's better than their hair getting into those sparkling nooks and crannies in the rest of the house.

Speaking of hair, well... aside from the simple fact of having kids and dogs living here, it's our other challenge to being always "show-ready". HAIR. And I'm not just talking about the obvious grown-up gross kind. Not being a person who is easily grossed-out by much, I've put myself in the mind of my friends who are. My darling friends who can't stand icky (and to me rather innocent) things like "feet" and "bugs" and "dirty diapers" and "your kids' used tissues".  I have to assume that every potential buyer who comes into my house wants to feel like they are walking through the sterile pages of a catalog. We have the standard catalog decor - now we just need to shave every hair off of our dogs, our children, and ourselves. I think even the stuffed animals are shedding, just to spite us.

So, that's pretty much our update thus far: it's turned me into a semi-relaxed, pee-obsessed, dog-resenting, hairless clean freak.  

Overall, I'm a joy to be around. 

And I won't even get started on my husband... until next entry, maybe.

Testing for sms text

So, I vacuumed my ceilings tonight. 

Does anyone do that on a regular basis? I have to think that it's one of those chores only done when prepping for a move. Not just a move, but selling a house. The actual move comes later, and after lots of sweat, tears, and luck. And pit-of-the-stomach anxiety, in my case. It's all the usual worries, I'm sure.

I'm exhausted just writing about it!

But we'll get through; we'll keep reminding ourselves that this is for the best, in the long run. And we'll pray like crazypeople that some sweet little family falls head over heels for our house.

Thanks to my one lone reader who checked out my last post - your kind words were much appreciated!

As tired as I've been at the end of these days, I still have the urge to write-- even if I don't actually get to do it. We spent most of the recent Blizzard days packing up the house (in ways that don't freak ot the kiddos), but couldn't get boxes to the storage unit. It's amazing to see all that we could pack away; all the stuff we don't need day-to-day. It does feel good to live this simply, without the clutter. 

Also took some time to play with the boys. My oldest was thrilled to share his Transformers tattoos with the rest of the family, so we could all match.

We are moving. 

The last time we did this, we were selling an incredible rowhouse during the best housing market in decades. It was just me and hubby and one dog. We had competing offers 2 days after we listed it, and the resulting bidding war ended with an offer $7,000 over asking price.

6 years later, it's a different world, to say the least! But we'd love to move closer to work and my in-laws - basically, our lives are in another town. We're tired of living in the car. The poor dogs have such long days alone.  The realtors call it "a convenience move" and assure us that we're in a great "position".

The anxiety I usually manage well is quickly slipping from my grasp.

Our seller agent came over yesterday and we asked - we were eager! - for her input about "staging" the house. I love this. I love getting organized, clearing out clutter. In my mind, I had already removed extraneous pieces of furniture. I was prepared - with an open mind partially full of HGTV. 

Still, I could not adequately steel myself for the experience of a stranger touring and critiquing my home. 

*sigh*

 It's not that she was mean about it or went crazy about it; in fact, I know that she did not say half of what she could have.  I might have dissolved into tears if she had gone through each detail - 

"ummm, yes, you really just need to get each dog hair removed from the house. And if you'd just go ahead and basically move out, that'd be great.  Right, I'm sure showing the house will be a bit complicated with 2 huge dogs and 2 small children. hmmmm. I'm sure you'll figure it out."

We will, of course. Figure it out. And I'm well aware that we are doing this completely voluntarily. It's the right thing for us to do right now. We could certainly suck it up and keep living in our cars, back and forth almost daily; i think the potential benefits outweigh the risks.

It's tough to live in the unknown. To tolerate feeling uncomfortable in this unsettled way.  

Say the Serenity Prayer and get over it, kiddo.  

My Gag Reflex and Allegations of Fork-Stabbing

Watching little G at a classmate's birthday party. At a gym, and he is just standing there - studying the others. Strange child.

Later:

Ok, I know he's not a strange kid. He's as normal as everyone else in the "what is normal, anyway?!" way.

He loosened up eventually and found his play-groove.

I was left to fend for myself in the waiting area with the Other Moms.  Everyone was friendly and blessedly normal (such a loaded, but useful, word, isn't it?).  It still managed to sneak in, though - that irrational resentment towards the stay-at-homes. Call them what you will: SAHM, WAHM, whatever. I have nothing against these women or their families. It's simply the "Grass is Always Greener" reflex -- the GAG reflex...  how appropriate.  Clearly, I have some sort of yearning for "something else" other than the 24/7 home-job and 8/5 work-job combo I currently have going on.

I allow myself just a split second of whining inside my head, and now here.  Choices, choices. More about choices another time.

I did find great comfort and entertainment hearing other mom's kidstories. Seems that every 4 yr old comes home with wonderfully outlandish stories about pre-school.  Full of their center-of-the-universe, all-or-nothing perspective:  "Nooooobody played with me" and "I aaaalways have to go last".  One little girl insisted that there were never enough chairs, and the teacher made her (and only her) sit on the floor.  G's usual news includes Brianna* having "issues" with hitting, Jack calling him "crocodile", and Leah being mean.

He came home last week and reported a "good" day at school, then shared that Ethan "stabbed me with a fork".  What?!  "Yup. Mom, he just stabbed me in the leg with his fork."

So, when I'm feeling oogie and exhausted about getting to work, paying bills, giving baths - I must remember what a massive struggle little folks' days are, learning how to be in this big world. Name calling, not sharing, turn taking, fork stabbing...  

What would a not-so-good day look like?

*all names changed to protect the innocent babes

...and *scene*

It does seem strange, doing this. I'm on stage and can't see the audience out there at all.  This appeals to me in a secret doesn't-seem-like-me way. I was painfully shy as a child, then all the sudden wanted to perform in school plays. But always sort of embarassed by that desire for attention.

I've been looking at some other blogs, or trying to. I can't figure out a good way to search for other posts on Blogger via labels. Yet. I'll add that word and have faith that I'll figure it out. 

I see a gazillion blogs by moms about their families. I am so not original. The cute-kid-stuff is not original. But it always falls into the "extraordinary", doesn't it?  We are all fascinated by our children. I'm sure I will spend a great deal of this blog transcribing conversations I have with my 4 yr-old son. And I suppose I'll include my 2 yr-old now, too, who is growing up freakishly fast.

Tonight my oldest, G, asked me to "accompany" him downstairs.

My youngest, O, got his flu shot and rather than cry, he asked the nurse "Why you do that?".

It's these moments, sprinkled through my days, that are my prayers. Really, these are the tiny little spaces when my thoughts turn to a higher power. I'm lucky enough to have some of these times at my outside-work as well, but when I'm with the boys my whispered prayers of "wow" are constant and comedic.  They are how I am so sure that my god has a great sense of humor and wants me to live a life full of laughter and love.  *sigh*  ...just thinking about how sweet they look asleep in their beds right now: "wow".  

I need to remember that at 4 am when G will inevitably stumble into our bed to "cuddle"... 

Brave New World

So I'm very intrigued by all this blogging phenomena!

It's a bit overwhelming to see all that others have done on their pages - ads, links, pcitures, etc.

It's especially bittersweet for me, since I considered myself very tech saavy until recent years.

I'm stuck in this middle-sort-of generation. I was raised with computers; early ones, granted, but computers nonetheless. My 1st grade classroom had one primitive Apple with 5-inch floppy drive. I learned to write DOS programs - could make the computer draw a picture, or fill the screen with color. Oregon Trail. I use computers today with ease, for the most part. I can navigate the internet and programs with a kind of comfort and instinct. I speak the language....but the language keeps changing! And my 4 year old can ...blah blah blah

I've grown tired of writing about this, but don't want to throw the whole thing out. So I won't delete it, you lucky cyber-reader.

Of more interest to me at this moment -- and I mean THIS exact particular fleeting moment since there are about 100 thoughts-of-interest in my brain -- is the Oprah cause du jour. I just saw her PSA about distracted driving. Of course, this is important. It's dangerous. That's a given. But Oprah? Really? When is the last time she drove anywhere? Often you get the underlying message of "we're all in this together"/"let's all pitch in and help remedy this problem". Here, it just came across more like "you people out there, please don't hit my chauffeur-driven towncar while texting". Gave me a chuckle.

How Do I Do This?

I'm starting. That's all.

I don't know what else will come. There's likely thousands of abandoned blogs here, much like the "Dear Diaries" many of us started as children. And I'm likely one of hundreds who has made that comparison here.

All I know is what has been nagging at me for months:  "Write"

I won't be doing writing groups or workshops like another woman I know - taking writing trips to Europe, journaling my journey through cathedrals and cemeteries and castles with peers and a mentor.

I will be changing diapers. I will be avoiding the vacuum. and the treadmill.

I will be daydreaming in my office of a life outside that office: more time with my children, more time to play. (all selfish things, really)

I will put words out into cyberspace for as long as "Write" feels right. It does for now, and that's what I'll go with. Maybe someone will find it interesting, if I have -- crassly put --- the balls to write about the actual interesting stuff. 

My life is ordinary, day to day. It's paying attention to the "extra" in the ordinary that makes it fascinating. 

(Fascinating to me, that is. Will anyone else find it terrifically fun that my 4-yr old just made up a song to tide him over in the car until we could get to a bathroom? Title: "Pee in ma' paaaants")

Join me in this if you'd like - I'd love the company.